My View on the Issue of Divorce

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There are so many people in the world, but there are no two people who share exactly the same natural inclinations. Each person has different strengths and weaknesses. Some like to move around; others like to stay put; some like food; others like clothing; some like to study; others like to do other things. Furthermore, there are differences even among those who like to move around and among those who like to stay put. And among those who like to study, some prefer to study literature, whereas others prefer to study science. The same goes with those who like to do other things. People's character, thinking, will, and behavior are all different, even though some might have a few things in common. On top of that, there are only one or two out of a thousand who even have a few things in common. It is no wonder that there are often conflicts between human beings!

Love, whether between friends, siblings, or husband and wife, may eventually turn problematic, and that leads to mutual dissatisfaction and eventually a breakup. It is relatively easy to break up with your friends or siblings, but because of the intimacy of marriage, it is more difficult to break up with your spouse. Divorce is a truly a delicate issue.

In our society today, there are quite a few people who believe that they are practicing what we call "free love." But the question whether they are indeed in love with each other remains. If people do not marry out of true love, what difference is there between their marriage and those arranged or coerced marriages? There should not be the slightest doubt that couples are allowed to divorce if their marriage was not freely willed or if it is lacking in true love. In my opinion, even couples who originally married out of true love should be allowed to divorce. To force an estranged couple to share the same bedroom would only cause immoral and unnatural behavior. How love begins and ends is beyond our control and comprehension. Love is like life itself—to lose one's love is to lose one's life. We see so many men in society who visit brothels or obtain concubines because they do not love their wives. But we women can only lead a lonely, sad, and painful life if we do not love our husbands. How many women are there who are numbed or die because of their husbands and their unhappy marriages! Because of traditional morality, it is unthinkable for those who survive to demand a divorce. Those women may commit adultery; but what fun is that?! Thus, it is much better to just get a divorce. They should try to rely on their own strength, but society should also lend them a helping hand.

I have stated that people have different inclinations, and that these differences may produce disagreements and even mutual resentment between husbands and wives. Even those whose love is free, natural, and long-standing go through some rough times. In the beginning, courting or married couples tend to demonstrate their similarities rather than their differences. Consequently, their love becomes more and more passionate, thus rendering them unable to see each other's shortcomings; meanwhile, others may see the potential problems but not be in a position to interfere. This is usually the root cause of a broken relationship. If the love of a courting couple is true, natural, sustained, and based on mutual observation, however, their marriage is more likely to survive the shortcomings revealed afterward, because the couple will probably understand and forgive each other. This kind of marriage may last longer than those based on a love that is superficial, not entirely free and natural, and lacking in a long period of mutual observation. Nonetheless, though this kind of marriage may not be so fragile, it may still last only a bit longer than other marriages. I think that a couple should simply divorce, when their marriage can no longer last.

If divorce is the result of dissatisfaction, then the intention of divorce is to seek satisfaction. But does seeking satisfaction mean seeking another love? If so, can one be assured that the new love is satisfactory? Most likely not! As I said earlier, people have different experiences, worldviews, ways of thinking, and behavior. So their relationship may fall apart despite their passionate love. The second marriage or relationship may fall apart even more easily than the first one. Therefore, I think it is not necessary to have another love or marriage after divorce. It matters little even if one lacks financial independence; as long as one has good health, there will always be life. All of us have our own natural strength; why should one rely on other people and suffer?