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My Marriage (Ye Shengtao)
| Author(s) | Ye Shengtao |
|---|---|
| Written | 29 October 1930 |
I had never met my wife and had not even written a letter to her before the wedding, because ours was an arranged marriage. Fortunately, we fell in love with each other after marriage. My wife and I were both teachers; although separated, we managed to write to each other often—writing letters and waiting for replies became our two passions. Now we have been married for fourteen-odd years, and we are still in love. It would be hard for us to say what we see in each other; we only know that we are a compatible couple and it is hard to imagine another couple more compatible than we are.
Of course, a marriage like ours is like a risky lottery game. That my wife and I happen to be such a happy couple is a blessed accident. As superstition would have it, ours was indeed a marriage arranged by the Old Man in the Moon at the White Cloud Temple by the West Lake.[1] I feel most fortunate that I never had to suffer from insomnia in the pursuit of a wife and that I never had to go through what most courting couples go through, be it joy or pain. Of course, it is still hard for me to say whether it is worth it for everyone to risk partaking in a lottery-like marriage just because it turned out that I was extremely lucky. But, in this case, a great deal of time and energy had been indeed saved for doing other things during my youth.
It is absolutely understandable that nowadays people would not bother to risk partaking in such a lottery-like marriage. Premarital love has become a commonly accepted norm. Of course, I have no intention of challenging this norm. Its popularity is widely accepted, after all. Here, I would only like to make some comments on those who believe in love above all else. When they are pleased and happy, they indulge in lovey-dovey talks, write love letters and poems to each other, and go to films and scenic spots. But, when displeased or dissatisfied, they go crazy, cry their hearts out, and again resort to writing poems (that are full of exclamation marks), claiming that they are the most miserable people in the world. Some would even go so far as to jump into the Huangpu River. To me, it is rather sad that one would give up one's entire life for love. This kind of love is a privilege belonging to the children of the rich and famous alone. Born "with a silver spoon in their mouth," these young men and women spend the filthy money of their wealthy parents or ancestors and enjoy the high social status that was prepared for them even before they were born. To them, this world of ours is full of peace and prosperity and free from any social problems. When one is placed in such a leisurely and carefree position, one inevitably engages in the game of love and contrives some joys and pains to fulfil one's otherwise blank and boring life. But if young people who are not endowed with such a mixed blessing want to follow suit, they will only hinder their own progress and weaken themselves.
Love exists as long as life exists, but there are many kinds of love in life. Down with the love of those playboys and playgirls!
- ↑ The legend goes: All good marriages are arranged by Yuexia Laoren. Yuexia Laoren ("The Old Man in the Moon") is a mythological figure who is supposed to tie a couple's feet with his "red string"—akin to "Cupid's bow" in Roman mythology—for a happy marriage (Dictionary of Classical Allusions, p. 211).