Love and Socializing Between Men and Women

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There stood several young men, who all wore new-style clothes, hats, and shoes, and usually spoke and wrote in a brand new language and fancy style. Suddenly, one of them came up to me and said: "Your relationship with so-and-so is already known to us all. Aha, you two are in love!" I simply laughed. If he had been smart, he would have instantly known what my laughter meant. What did I laugh at? I simply laughed at his "newness" and the fact that he was new on the outside but old on the inside. His mixture of old and new is even older than the old and dirtier than dirt. Then he continued to ask me: "Why don't you tell us more about it, since you two are indeed in love?" Once again, I laughed coldly. He had no idea.

How many people who are supposedly engaged in the New Culture Movement these days truly mean business? Far too many of them are just wearing masks! As it is, there are more destroyers than builders; if this continues, our future is really in grave danger!

Open socializing between men and women is a very important issue. There has been a lot of public demand for that since the May Fourth Movement. Unfortunately, it has not been easy to carry out. Why not? In my opinion, it is due to the obstacles created by the men and women involved. On the one hand, they advocate open socializing between men and women; on the other hand, they are doing things to hinder it. This is a real self-contradiction; it is like blocking one's own way with rocks.

This is where the obstacles lie.

First, when a man and a woman start to socialize by speaking and writing to each other, going to the parks together, or studying together, people jump to the conclusion that this young man and this young woman are in love, even though they are actually just friends. Consequently, some young men and women succumb to these outside pressures and speculations, go ahead and push themselves into the "business of love," and then have sex. After that, they break up, agonize, and part ways. The whole process usually lasts a very short time because their relationship has the wrong foundation to begin with. This kind of love is caused by outside pressure, so it is not true love. It is not a personal choice, so it usually does not last long. It is certainly not a good thing for society when couples separate, though divorce is an expedient means to deal with problems caused by the old marriage system. Any society that allows people to copulate and then casually separate is a primitive one and exists only in periods of barbarism. Now that such things happen in our society, it is no wonder that those old moralists feel disgusted.

As I have shown, this situation results from the fact that some people who have been steeped in the old tradition resent and make a fuss about socializing between men and women. This is an objective obstacle.

The second is a subjective obstacle—one that is caused by the men and women themselves. Often, one feels excited when one meets a stranger of the opposite sex. When this happens, people behave strangely, assuming that the purpose of socializing with someone of the opposite sex is to "love and marry." For the sole purpose of speeding up the game of love, they discard their personal integrity and try all sorts of tricks to seduce the opposite sex. They never question whether love should be achieved that way and whether this kind of union between the sexes is natural or everlasting. This is completely wrong! This kind of union has nothing to do with love. It is nothing but animal desire. With this kind of animalistic socializing going on, it is no wonder that those old moralists curse the absurdity of the New Culture Movement and prevent their own children from going to public gatherings.

Third, there are some who tend to misunderstand the intention of the other party, assuming that even the slightest agreement in language and thought signifies "love." They then seek love without trying to understand the other party. Suffering from "unrequited love," many of them end up becoming ill, insane, or suicidal. Those who are smarter may come back to their senses in time. Observation of these kinds of encounters may cause pessimism and loneliness in other people, and keep them from going out and socializing.

The above are the obstacles that hinder the socializing between men and women.

Love is sacred and should not be spoken of lightly. It is a union of character. Anybody who misinterprets the concept of character, fails to distinguish between the part and the whole, or fails to understand the significance of character is not qualified to talk about "love."

I respect my own and others' character. If I actually fall in love with someone, I will not be afraid to talk about it. If not, however, I will certainly curse those who don't respect the character of others. Who can sway my will? Who can force me? Who would dare to control me? I have the right to control my own life and would never allow anybody else to control me. I sincerely advise young people: Raise your consciousness, never take lightly your own character or others', never try to destroy our New Culture Movement, and avoid hindering our progress. It is my hope that there will be more discussion on socializing between men and women. I also welcome comments and criticisms.